Alinuta copiii dragon capete
Alinuta: Mama, mama, copiii imi zic ca sunt un dragon cu trei capete...Mama: Ei lasa...linisteste-te trei capete sunt mai bune decat unu !
alinuta copiii dragon capete
Alinuta: Mama, mama, copiii imi zic ca sunt un dragon cu trei capete...
Mama: Ei lasa...linisteste-te trei capete sunt mai bune decat unu !
Mama: Ei lasa...linisteste-te trei capete sunt mai bune decat unu !
copiii strigau alinutei tanti
La bloc, copiii strigau la mama Alinutei:
-Tanti, o lasati pe Alinuta la fotbal?
-Da copii, da Alinuta nu are picioare...
-Tanti, o lasati pe Alinuta la fotbal?
-Da copii, da Alinuta nu are maini...
-Tanti, o lasati pe Alinuta la fotbal?
-Da copii, da Alinuta nu are decat cap!
-Nu-i nici o problema! Alinuta sare asa de bine...
-Tanti, o lasati pe Alinuta la fotbal?
-Da copii, da Alinuta nu are picioare...
-Tanti, o lasati pe Alinuta la fotbal?
-Da copii, da Alinuta nu are maini...
-Tanti, o lasati pe Alinuta la fotbal?
-Da copii, da Alinuta nu are decat cap!
-Nu-i nici o problema! Alinuta sare asa de bine...
there beautiful princess trapped
There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castleguarded by a dragon.
Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...
* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.
* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
* CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."
* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
* EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.
* GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.
* POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't fuck him either, because he likes ska.
Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...
* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.
* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
* CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."
* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
* EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.
* GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.
* POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't fuck him either, because he likes ska.
alinuta bunicul bunicutule povesteste
Alinuta vine la bunicul si-i zice:
-Bunicutule, povesteste-mi despre Cernobil!
La care bunicutul:
-Alinuta, Alinuta, este tare mult de-atunci...si-o mangaie pe Alinuta pe cap... apoi pe celalalt...
-Bunicutule, povesteste-mi despre Cernobil!
La care bunicutul:
-Alinuta, Alinuta, este tare mult de-atunci...si-o mangaie pe Alinuta pe cap... apoi pe celalalt...
templu shaolin discipolul intelept
Intr-un templu shaolin:
Discipolul:
- Prea intelept si onorabil Maestru, poti sa-mi explici diferenta dintre o
perla si o femeie?
Maestrul:
Diferenta, gandacel mic si umil, consta in faptul ca perla poate fi
insirata pe la ambele capete, iar femeia numai pe la un capat.
Discipolul (confuz):
- Dar, Maestre, da-mi voie sa contrazic intelepciunea ta himalayana, dar
am auzit ca unele femei se lasa insirate pe la ambele capete!
Maestrul (cu un suras):
- Pai acelea nu sunt femei, sunt adevarate perle.
Discipolul:
- Prea intelept si onorabil Maestru, poti sa-mi explici diferenta dintre o
perla si o femeie?
Maestrul:
Diferenta, gandacel mic si umil, consta in faptul ca perla poate fi
insirata pe la ambele capete, iar femeia numai pe la un capat.
Discipolul (confuz):
- Dar, Maestre, da-mi voie sa contrazic intelepciunea ta himalayana, dar
am auzit ca unele femei se lasa insirate pe la ambele capete!
Maestrul (cu un suras):
- Pai acelea nu sunt femei, sunt adevarate perle.
intoarce copilas scoala copiii
Se intoarce un copilas de la scoala:
-Mama, copiii imi zic ca sunt vampir!
-Lasa, mama, ca copiii sunt rai, nu ai de ce sa-ti faci probleme. Acum treci la masa ca ti se coaguleaza supa!
-Mama, copiii imi zic ca sunt vampir!
-Lasa, mama, ca copiii sunt rai, nu ai de ce sa-ti faci probleme. Acum treci la masa ca ti se coaguleaza supa!
alinuta draguta fratelui tatal
Tata: Alinuta, fii draguta si fa-i o baie fratelui tau. Dupa vreo juma de ora tatal intra in baie...Alinuta il tinea de urechi pe fratiorul sau si il tragea prin apa.
T: Alinuta, mai pune mana si mai freaca-l si tu .
Alinuta: Ce-ai innebunit, vrei sa ma oparesc ?
T: Alinuta, mai pune mana si mai freaca-l si tu .
Alinuta: Ce-ai innebunit, vrei sa ma oparesc ?
intra alinuta vreme vreme
Intra Alinuta la buda, sta o vreme, mai sta o vreme si incep sa se auda tipete... Toata familia se strange alarmata la usa... Alinuta, ce-ai patit? Aoleu, Alinuta,ce ai?... Intr-un final iese Alinuta din baie plina de sange...
Bai, m-a TAIAT asa o cacare....
Bai, m-a TAIAT asa o cacare....
sanatoriu nebuni undeva pacientii
Intr-un sanatoriu de nebuni... de undeva din tara....toti pacientii se credeau frunze. Vine inspectie de la Bucuresti. La primul etaj intra inspectorul:
-A venit toamna!
Buf! Toti cad, capete sparte, maini, picioare rupte...tot tacamul. La al doilea etaj intra inspectorul:
-A venit toamna!
Buf! toti cad, capete sparte, maini, picioare frante...Tot asa si la al treilea si la al patrulea.... ajunge la al cincilea:
-A venit toamna!
Nimic!
-A venit toamna!
Tot nimic!
-A VENIT TOAMNA !
-Ba tu esti vaca !?! Nu vezi ca noi suntem CONIFERE!?!
-A venit toamna!
Buf! Toti cad, capete sparte, maini, picioare rupte...tot tacamul. La al doilea etaj intra inspectorul:
-A venit toamna!
Buf! toti cad, capete sparte, maini, picioare frante...Tot asa si la al treilea si la al patrulea.... ajunge la al cincilea:
-A venit toamna!
Nimic!
-A venit toamna!
Tot nimic!
-A VENIT TOAMNA !
-Ba tu esti vaca !?! Nu vezi ca noi suntem CONIFERE!?!
iarna alinuta saniuta derdelus
Iese intr-o zi de iarna si Alinuta cu saniuta la derdelus...Urca ea dealul cu greu si coboara...Ajunge jos o calca o masina...
"Nu ma duc in casa, ca daca ma duc, ma opreste inauntru!!"
...Si mai urca o data, tot cu greu...si coboara o calca un camion...La fel:
"Nu ma duc in casa ca daca ma duc ma opreste!"
...Si mai urca o data si coboara, ranita, fara maini, schiopatand, etc...etc, etc o calca compresorul si o face foita de hartie...O iau copiii cu doua degete pe sus si o duc la usa la maica-sa...
-Ding-Doong...
Maica-sa raspunde la usa cu lantul pus:
-Ce mai vreti, naripa voastra de puradei!!!
Astia sfiosi:
-Pai, v-am adus-o pe Alinuta, c-a calcat-o compresoru ...Deschideti sa v-o dam!
-Nah, nah, nah...bagati-o pe sub usa.
"Nu ma duc in casa, ca daca ma duc, ma opreste inauntru!!"
...Si mai urca o data, tot cu greu...si coboara o calca un camion...La fel:
"Nu ma duc in casa ca daca ma duc ma opreste!"
...Si mai urca o data si coboara, ranita, fara maini, schiopatand, etc...etc, etc o calca compresorul si o face foita de hartie...O iau copiii cu doua degete pe sus si o duc la usa la maica-sa...
-Ding-Doong...
Maica-sa raspunde la usa cu lantul pus:
-Ce mai vreti, naripa voastra de puradei!!!
Astia sfiosi:
-Pai, v-am adus-o pe Alinuta, c-a calcat-o compresoru ...Deschideti sa v-o dam!
-Nah, nah, nah...bagati-o pe sub usa.